Where do computers go to relax?
- The disco
How do you catch a vampire fish?
- With bloodworms
What’s white and hard and prickly?
- A skeleton that needs a shave
Why would one wish to have been born 200 years ago?
- Because there wouldn’t have been so much history to learn at school !
What can you give a sickly robot?
- Iron tablets
What’s the difference between someone in a hurry and someone wasteful?
- One makes haste the other makes waste
Which part of the computer squeaks?
- The mouse
Where do you take a sick bird?
- To the casualty wing
How can you save a sick vampire?
- Stick your neck out for him
Why do you have splinters on your hand?
- I was leafing through the captain’s log
Why was Dracula kicked out of school?
- He failed his end of term blood test
Why do wizards have fond memories of school?
- They always come top in spelling
Teacher: “Why have you brought a fish into music?”
Student: “You said we were going to play scales today sir !”
Should you cycle to school on an empty stomach?
- You could, but it would be easier on a bicycle
What happened to the man who discovered electricity?
- He got a nasty shock
Did you hear about the cabbage whose neighbor won the lottery?
- He was green with envy
Did you hear about the man who went to the doctor and told him he thought he was suitcase?
- The doctor sent him packing
Did you hear about the burglar who was arrested in his shower?
- He was trying to make a clean getaway
Why is it dangerous to tell jokes when you’re skating?
- Because the ice might crack up
I would tell you the joke about the fence…
But I know you’d never get over it !
I would tell you the joke about the fruit bowl….
But you’d go bananas !
I would tell you the joke about the highly contagious disease….
But you’re sure to get it straight away !
😀 😀 😀 😀